1.  Open Carry law passed in Oklahoma while California discusses ban on open carry of long guns in addition to current ban on handguns.  Talk about one topic that defines the differences between states.  Here’s another.  Oklahoma legislature discussing ways to reduce or eliminate state income tax while Gov Brown of CA talks about billions in tax increases.  Where would you rather live?  To me, no amount of coastline makes up for that kind of liberal craziness.

2.  Here’s a good one, there is a new White House website that offers financial advice to children.  Nope, not making this up, they really did it.  Here’s a link about the story:  http://hotair.com/archives/2012/05/23/no-joke-new-white-house-website-offers-children-lessons-on-financial-literacy/    I especially like to one about paying off the balance of your credit card every month… lulz!

3.  Random thought borrowed from Frank J’s website:  Romney spends his money on cool things. Obama spends my money on sucky things.  Dave approves this message!

4.  So after losing to the Oklahoma Thunder in 5 games, Ron Artest (now know as Meta World-Peace) gave a post series news conference interview to TNT wherein he said the Lakers were the better team. In a similar case of “I’ve-lost-my-mindedness”, Larry Flynt stated that Obama has done a marvelous job and has over-performed.  Maybe they shared a tainted cup of Koolaid and lost their minds simultaneously.

5.  If Obama ran a lemonade stand:

a) Government union workers construct the lemonade stand. Construction takes three years, and comes in at just over 2 million dollars… more than twice the projected amount.

  b) Obama is not part of the union, so he can’t work in his own stand. AFL-CIO goons picket the stand before it opens and threaten people in the neighborhood.

  c) DC police start including the stand in their daily patrols – not to protect anyone from the union goons but to close the stand down because they insist he gets food permits.

  d) Environmentalists picket the unopened stand because it’s made of wood, and some cry for the trees that were cut down to supply the wood for the stand.

  e) College students sit around the stand, while others attempt to set it on fire, as the stand represents “capitalism” and they plan to “Occupy” it.

  f) Two years later, after Obama finally does the government-required studies and buys the required permits, and hires a union worker to serve the lemonade, the lemonade must sell for $100 per glass to make a profit.

  g) Stand closes next day.

  h) Obama learns nothing.

6. President Obama won the Arkansas Democratic primary 58% – 42%!!!  Pretty good margin unless you consider that he ran unopposed.  (This one is for my Nephew Nicholas)

7. My daughter Meagan graduates from High School this Saturday!  That’s two down and one more teenager to go… whew!  Congratulations sweetie!  Your designer luggage will be delivered tomorrow, be sure to pack lots of clean underwear.

8.  Elizabeth Warren is 1/32 gay superhero.

9.  Coolest T-shirt seen in the last week:  “Guns don’t kill people!  It’s mostly the bullets.”

10.  Here’s a shout out and a silent prayer for all those who made the ultimate sacrifice.  To all the members of the United States armed services who gave their lives so we could enjoy freedom, I thank you.

Dave has left the building!

 

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Ten Things #5

Posted: February 3, 2012 in Uncategorized

Ten things that irritate me this week:

President Obama quoting the Bible in an effort to convince the country that god wants him to raise taxes on rich people.  Maybe he should look for scripture that talks about not coveting thy neighbor’s property, or not murdering unborn children.  Here’s a good one, “Thy shalt not bare false witness”!  While many passages from the Bible are subject to interpretation, my personal favorite is not; “Thy shalt not be a dumb ass”!

Republican Candidates for President.  While it’s true that I believe that any of the candidates would make a better President than Obama, none of them excite me to the point where I would get in an argument with another Republican about who is the better candidate.  They all have ideas or qualities that I like but they also all have ideas and qualities I don’t care for so much.  Mostly though, I am frustrated by the lack of a candidate that can clearly articulate the conservative platform in a way that makes me want to stand up and cheer.  I think Reagan was the last President that made me do that.  Maybe we should all get behind an Eric Cartman for President movement.

Automatic phone menu systems.  When is the last time you called your bank and a person answered the phone?  I can’t remember either.  I was seconds away from throwing my phone the other day when I tried to call the bank about some charges on my debit card.  Let me hear an “Amen” if this has happened to you!  I would transfer all my business to any bank that would do away with those systems and just pay someone to take my call and assist me with my issue.

People who say that giving money to Planned Parenthood is not supporting abortion because they separate the funding.  Look up the word “Fungible” some time.  There is such a big stink going on because the Susan Koman foundation pulled it’s funding from Planned Parenthood.  I say good for you!  I am all for saving boobies, which is what the Koman foundation is all about.  However, knowing that my donation might make it’s way to PP and the death of a baby made me think twice about a donation.  For about 2 days I didn’t  have to worry and then they reversed their decision after pressure from 26 liberal members of Congress.  The Komen foundation is a private organization after all and they can make this call without having to justify it to anyone except those who donate to their foundation.  Incidentally, their donations increased 100% in the two days after they announced the decision to pull funding from PP.  Good job suckering all those folks into a donation and then reversing field.  I would demand my donation back had I made one.  Guess I have to look elsewhere for a charity that doesn’t support baby killing.

Iranian Saber Rattling.  Do those yahoos really believe that they can win a military conflict with the USA?  Seriously… I mean c’mon dudes.  I wish there were a video game for war like the NFL and NCAA games where you can match any team you want against any other team and see who wins.  Or you can create a super team with real or made up players.  All the players have ratings from 1 – 100 with 100 being the best.  My made up football team was full of players with ratings of 98 and up.  I never lost, heck I never even got scored on.  That’s how it would be if we had a war with Iran, even after Obama gets done slicing up our military.  All our “players” are 99s and Iran is fill of “players” in the 55 – 65 range.  Go ahead Persians, feed your speed boats into the meat grinder we call the US Navy and let’s see what the final score is.  Prediction; 70 – 3 the US Military.

Reality TV.  This has gotten completely out of control!  When there are four shows just about repo men then you know we have reached the end of times.  I mean really, “Lizard Lick Towing”?  Also, when the Khardasians can have not one but three TV shows then I know it’s time to shut the stupid TV off for good.  The one I did like was “Pawn Stars” but then all the copy cat shows came out and it got ridiculous.  Hardcore Pawn is the worst but there are other violators out there as well.  My personal “Most Hated” show is Jersey Shore.  Everyone else in my house thinks it’s the greatest show ever; all I see is a bunch of idiots getting drunk, talking crap and having sex with everything that moves.  The girls on that show are ugly, the guys are so focused on themselves that nothing else can penetrate their thick skulls.  They better hope that show lasts a long time because they are singularly unfit for any meaningful career outside of professional sex maniac, tan freak drunken moron.  Oh wait, I forgot politics, they would be great at that too.

The National Labor Relations Board.  Better known as the PR firm for organized labor.  Staffed with democratic appointees and former union bosses, this power hungry group sets about dismantling anything resembling fair work practices and instead, does its level best to ensure unions have a way to stick it to the business community.  This would naturally lead to a whole other blog on unions but I will stop short of a tirade and leave it at this.  NLRB, if you want to kill businesses and drive the economy further into the dirt, then keep doing what you are doing.

The Tax Code.  Do I need to explain?  If you make very little and get some money back at the end of the year then you may think the current system is cool.  What if, instead of having to loan your return amount to the government, they instead let you keep it and you could invest it during the year?  Getting $500 back this year?  Imagine if you bought 20 shares of GE instead of loaning your money to the government for no gain just to have them mail it back to you at the end of the year?  When you look at the amount of your return, do this as well; look at how much you paid the government for the right to hold your cash until February of the following year.  Fair Tax, Flat Tax.. something please besides this silly behemoth of a tax system.

The chair at my computer desk at home.  Stupid thing is losing the hydraulics in the base, every time I sit in it I begin a slow decent as it creeps down to the lowest setting.  I then sit up, pull the lever up to raise it back and then start a new 15 minute session of slow fall.  I love this chair otherwise, so why am I being punished?  Stupid chair.

Number 10 I leave to my readers.  Respond back with what is bugging you this week and I will post the best response next week.  Looking for something about the Superbowl… or maybe something about the police… or squirrels!

10 Things New Years Edition

Posted: January 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

Just read that California Governor, Jerry Brown, has proposed raising taxes in that state by 7 billion in order to increase spending.  So, if you happen to be a CA resident I feel for you.  Here is some advice, pack up the car and drive East.  You will find many states just to the East that have lower taxes, higher employment and fewer kooks.  Unfortunately the beaches stay in California, sorry but the state’s one redeeming quality can’t be transported to Utah or Nevada. If they could then no sane person would live in that state.

The BCS National Championship game is on Monday and features Alabama and LSU.  They met earlier in the year and played a yawner of a field goal kicking contest with LSU squeaking it out 9-6.  My prediction; more boring football and who really cares who wins.   I think the Arkansas/Kansas State game tonight will be exciting, more along the lines of the Rose Bowl and the Fiesta Bowl and a much better viewing experience than the SEC rematch on Monday.  If your an LSU or Alabama fan; enjoy the field goals. Question of the day; If Bama wins a close game can Oklahoma State make an argument for #1?

The President is proposing to cut half a million troops from our military.  Now I am fairly certain that this proposal will not make it through Congress intact but he may just work through executive order and skip the hassle.    The emperor has shown he doesn’t like to be blocked from implementing what he thinks are the correct actions and policies so he just does them through executive order and recess appointment when Congress isn’t in recess, Constitution be damned.  I mean, Consumer Financial Protection is much more important than the Constitution, right?  Also, imagine what half a million new job seekers will mean to the current economy and the unemployment rates.  Who pays for federal unemployment?  You do.  The one part of his plan I do agree with is the new focus on operations in Asia VS Europe and the Middle East.

Take this with a grain of salt since I read it on “The Blaze” but it appears Keith Olberman is on the outs with the executives at his new network, Current TV.  Ratings are down and Keith is notoriously difficult to work with so this comes as no surprise.  His 14 viewers will be terribly disappointed if he has to move to Telamundo.  He is a pretty smart fella though, arrogant but intelligent none the less. Remember when he was on ESPN and everyone loved him?  Not so much now.

So Chevy is recalling 8000 Volts because they catch on fire.  Question of the Day #2; they sold 8000 Volts?

Michelle Bachman is out of the Republican race now, thank god.  Now if we can just get Ron Paul to go away we will be set.  Still not sure who I will vote for, wish Chris Christie was running.  Is it me or does Michelle have crazy eyes?

I have been watching videos on Youtube that show “Rights Activists” wearing firearms in open carry states to see if the police harass them.  It’s surprising how many policemen don’t know the law in their own state and even more surprising how many had no regard for these folks constitutional rights.  I don’t just mean 2nd amendment rights either; saw one video where they detained a guy just because they wanted to identify him due to his openly carrying a firearm in a state that allows open carry.  Police do not have the right to detain you if they don’t have reasonable suspicion that you committed an offense.  Think I will watch this one for a while.

I think I have become somewhat OCD in my old age.  I get uncomfortable around clutter and in my house with teenagers, that is a daily occurrence.   I find myself cleaning or telling my kids to clean and if it doesn’t get done in a short amount of time then I start to freak out.  It seems worse since we moved into this little house while we try to sell the place in Texas, very small house compared to what we are used to.  All I know is, if you leave a soda can in my living room, you are gonna catch holy heck!

I have been playing the new MMO, Star Wars The Old Republic, or SWTOR for short.  I play a Sith Empire Bounty Hunter named Ishmael Lightsbane and he is one bad dude.  Still trying to figure out if I like this game a lot or if I just like it.  Definitely a fun game and I look forward to reaching end game content sometime soon.  I filled my “Ignore” list in about three days but that is standard for MMOs.  I have a low tolerance for chat channel idiots.  Interested to hear if others have tried this game and what their opinion is.  So, if you tried it out, let me know what you think.

Plans for 2012:  Cara and I will be on a serious savings spree in order to put away enough for a down payment on a new house.  It looks like we will be keeping the Texas house for a while since it finally rented last month.  Add in the house in Stillwater we rent to KC and Joel and we have turned into slum lords..lol.  Meagan will graduate from South Moore High School this year and Zak will hit the big 16 in May.  My mother-in-law Valerie is here for a few months, always good to have Val in town as it keeps the girls (Cara and Rae) in line.  I have set a fairly ambitious goal at work to increase our productive guard hours by $5 million in 2012.  Gonna take some work but I feel confident we can do it.  Finally, I resolve to spend more time with my wife.  We missed each other a lot this last year due to odd schedules but I am committed to spending more quality time with her in 2012.  If I can just stop playing that stupid Star Wars game that is… wish me luck.

 

I am hearing a lot in the news lately about the separation of church and state argument.  Atheists are watching government sites nationwide in an effort to locate, what they would define as, infractions of this policy, while Christians are fighting for the right to display holiday symbols on public lands.  I know the Constitution forbids Congress from passing any law that restricts or promotes the establishment of religion but how does this translate into the current argument over religious displays?  Nobody appears to be trying to pass a law through Congress so whats the beef?  I get that Atheists don’t want religion forced on them but their argument citing the above portion of the Constitution does not seem to apply here.  5000 Christians in Athens TX and the leadership at Travis AFB, CA seem to think not.  Would love some feedback on this one folks.

It must suck to be an Athiest and never get to experience the moment where your proven right.  I mean you die and then there is nothing…  At least if your a Christian and your right then you can say “See!  I told ya so!

Kim Jong IL died yesterday, that is the third evil tyrant (I am counting Bin Laden and Ghaddafi) to die in the last few months, so the saying “it comes in threes” seems to be accurate again. I wonder if the fact that his son, Kim Jr., is replacing him as illustrious potentate disqualifies him from completing the trifecta?  Right now Kim Jong is being greeted by Satan, Osama and Mohmar and thinking to himself “Damn, those stinking Christians were right”.

If you haven’t heard yet, My favorite NFL team the Kansas City Chiefs, ended Green Bay’s undefeated season yesterday.  I watched the entire game and can attest that the Packers looked terrible and the Chiefs looked, at times, like the undefeated team Green Bay was supposed to be.  Next week things will return to normal and KC will lose by 50 to the Raiders.

What do you call people who think selling guns to drug cartels is bad?  Racists, at least if your the Attorney General you do.

So, according to Joe Biden the Taliban isn’t our enemy. Then, who is?

Looking at the actions of the Obama administration, here are my candidates:

  • Jewish people in Israel.  Those living in the US are cool because they often vote Democrat.
  • White Conservatives
  • Black Conservative
  • Brown Conservative
  • People who like nativity scenes
  • Republicans that support Ron Paul
  • Republicans that don’t support Ron Paul
  • Libertarians
  • States that try to pass immigration laws
  • Fox News
  • A little bit of ABC News
  • Anyone making enough money to not live off of government support
  • You, simply for reading this

Don’t forget, Obama set up a website to report wrong doing so notify him immediately if you spot any of the above perpetrators.

So Dutch scientists have developed a more virulent version of the bird flu.  Really, I don’t make this stuff up.  The original version just didn’t kill enough people so the Dutch thought it would be a great idea to figure out how to make it deadlier.  What’s next guys, you gonna research how to actually make the Zombie Apocalypse happen?

Speaking of the Zombie Apocalypse (ZA for short) if Obama gets reelected next year I am considering the purchase of an old Titan II missile Silo in SW Oklahoma.  There is actually a website (several of them) where you can view silos for sale.  Prices range from several hundred thousands into the millions.   Considering how terrible the country would be after an Obama reelection, I think this is a prudent step.

Ten Things #3

Posted: December 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

Harry Reid says rich job creators are like unicorns, you just can’t find one.  This has got to be one of the dumbest statements in the history of politics and economics.  Heck, this may be the dumbest statement ever in any category.  Let’s review shall we?  Rich guy buys jet, people who make, sell, fly and maintain jets get jobs.  Rich guy invests in inventors idea, widgets get made, people get employed to make, market, sell and repair widgets.  I was a history major but even I took enough economics classes to work this one out.  In the history of mankind, how many poor people created jobs?   Sure they could start a business with little to no overhead, but you have to make money to ay people don’t you?  This guy Reid is a moron.  Try telling yourself this Harry; governments don’t create jobs that create products.  Government creates jobs that create red tape.

The Kansas City Chiefs fired their head coach Todd Haley Monday.  Not much of a surprise there, they suck.  Question now is, who will replace him.  I vote for Bill Cowher!

I was reading the OSU forums on ESPN’s website yesterday and came across an Alabama fans post that asked when were OSU fans going to realize that nobody cared about the plane crash before the Iowa State game and we should quit crying.  People die so get over it.  I have now added Alabama to my list of teams to hate along with the Texas Longhorns, the Oakland Raiders and Dallas Mavericks.  Not only do they get a second chance beating LSU, even though they did not win their conference, but they spawn asshat fans who kill trees with poison and spew stupid comments on other teams forums.  Prediction, LSU 10, Bama 3 in a game nobody outside of Louisiana and Alabama will watch because it will be sooo boring.

Quick, name something good that came from Alabama besides that cool song “Sweet Home Alabama”.  Nothing?  Ya, me neither.

“Congress has not unlimited powers to provide for the general welfare, but only those specifically enumerated (Art. I, Sec. 8).”
-Thomas Jefferson

“I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.”
James Madison

Funny T-shirt of the day:  “This shirt is so hot, who needs pants?”

OWS on the West Coast is blocking ports now.  Really people, this is your version of a good idea?  Working folks can’t do their jobs, regular people won’t get their goods delivered and you inconvenience a few rich folk.  Nice move, are you sure your not all from Alabama?  Occupy a country club, occupy a ritzy shop, maybe, just maybe you make a point.  Occupy a port and you have shown yourself to be too stupid to consider serious.  But I guess we knew that already, now it’s just a collection of anarchists and rabid union thugs mixed in with a few crazy hippies.

NASA is moving to use private space companies to transport goods to the International Space Station since we don’t have shuttles anymore.  Want to bet they do it better and cheaper than the government did.

Deidre Pujols, wife of the Angels newest team member Albert Pujols told a newspaper yesterday that the reason they left St. Louis is that they were insulted by the teams opening offer of a 5 year, $130 million offer.  Hey you OWS folks, here is something to protest!

This is awesome.  Posted by Anonymous on the website “Thehayride.com”

WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV
AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT
OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE
FOLLOWING
SPEECH?

‘My Fellow Americans: As you all
know,
the defeat of the Iraq regime has been
completed.

Since Congress does not want
to spend
any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is
complete.

This morning I gave the order
for a
complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action
will
be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the
reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists.
One list
contains the names of countries which have stood by our side
during
the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain
,
Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries
listed
there.

The other list contains
every one not
on the first list. Most of the world’s nations are on that
list. My
press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later
this
evening.

Let me start by saying
that effective
immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2
ceases
indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will
pretty
much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
war.

THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It’ll GO
TO
OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20
YEARS.

The American people are no
longer
going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch
those
government leaders grow fat on
corruption.

Need help with a famine?
Wrestling
with an epidemic? Call France

In the future, together with
Congress,
I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing
social
problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to
terrorist
organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and
eliminate
you and all your friends from the face of the
earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country
to
terrorize? Try France or maybe China
.

I am ordering the immediate
severing
of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all
your
help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as
well.

I have instructed the Mayor of
New
York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located
in
Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites
where
those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t
care
about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens
of
thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch
your
precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of
the
finest chop shops in the world. I love New
York.

A special note to our
neighbors:
Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more
of
each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for
a
change.

Mexico is also on List 2.
Its
president and his entire corrupt government really need an
attitude
adjustment.
I will have a couple
thousand extra
tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am
going to
put ‘em? Yep, border
security.

Oh, by the way, the United
States is
abrogating the NAFTA treaty – starting
now.

We are tired of the one-way
highway.
Immediately, we’ll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take
care
of this country’s oil needs for decades to come. If you’re
an
environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List
2
above: pick a country and move
there.

It is time for America to focus on
its
own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of
isolationism.
I answer them by saying, ‘darn
tootin.’

Nearly a century of trying to
help
folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us
the
undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time
to
eliminate hunger in America ..
It is
time to eliminate homelessness
in America .
To the nations on List 1,
a final thought.
Thank you guys.
We owe you and we won’t
forget.

To the nations on List 2, a
final
thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic.

God bless America

Thank you and good
night.’

If you can read this in
English,
thank a soldier.

 

Ten Things #2

Posted: December 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

It’s been over 950 days since the Senate passed a budget!  The last Democrat to put a budget up for vote was President Obama in February; it failed 97-0.  Meanwhile the President says Congress should not go home for the holidays: “Now is the time to step on the gas, not slam on the brakes,” Obama said today in his weekly radio and Internet address. “Unfortunately, too many Republicans in Congress don’t seem to share that same sense of urgency.”  Then he got on a plane to Hawaii for a vacation.

Oklahoma State University landed a severe body blow to the OU Sooners Saturday in the annual Bedlam game.  They came out swinging and never stopped hitting them until the final whistle blew.  Then the BCS landed a cheap shot to the Cowboys by ranking them 3rd and denying them the opportunity to play for a national title in favor of Alabama.  Yes that Alabama, the one that already lost, at home, to the same team (LSU) they will play in the championship.  Anyone want to watch a 9-6 rematch?  Not me.

New NCAA rule:  If neither team scores a touchdown then Oklahoma State is champion by default.

Fact:  bread pudding is the greatest dessert ever created, especially with raisins and caramel sauce.

I tried a new headache medicine in my quest for a pain reliever that stops migraines.  The latest applicant is Excedrine Tension Headache Gels.  So far they have stopped several budding ass-kickers.  So, if you suffer from bouts of severe pain in your head that resemble a pound of glass shards crammed into your eye sockets, try them out.

Unemployment is down to 8.6%!  What’s that?  Because 315,000 people gave up looking for work and dropped off the books?  Damn, and there I thought we had something going.  They gotta rework that whole system for listing the unemployment rate, darn current system is whackadoodle.  Almost fooled me into thinking that Obama going on vacation actually helped.

Newt is now leading the Polls in the Republican race to face off against Obama next year.  Who was the last Speaker of the House elected President?  James Polk.  Didn’t he start a war with Mexico?  Sweet, let’s elect Newt and try that one again. This time if we win, they have to take back California.   If they balk at taking just California we can throw in New York City.

My list of things to request for Christmas:  1…. I got nothing here… uh… no… wait… um… ah whatever!

Gun Safety Tip of the Week:  Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction; such as at a communist or a hippie.

Watching the New Orleans VS Detroit game Sunday it hit me; the NFC championship game will be the Superbowl this year.  No team from the AFC is even remotely as good as NO, GB or SF.  Baltimore, New England and Pittsburgh would all put up a fight but I foresee a crushing defeat for whomever shows up from the AFC.  Of course if we did it the BCS way we could have a Green Bay VS New Orleans NFC championship followed by the Superbowl with Green Bay and New Orleans.  (For those SF fans, feel free to insert your team here in place of New Orleans)