Epic Post found on Hayride Website

Posted: December 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

This is awesome.  Posted by Anonymous on the website “Thehayride.com”

WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV
AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT
OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE
FOLLOWING
SPEECH?

‘My Fellow Americans: As you all
know,
the defeat of the Iraq regime has been
completed.

Since Congress does not want
to spend
any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is
complete.

This morning I gave the order
for a
complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action
will
be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the
reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists.
One list
contains the names of countries which have stood by our side
during
the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain
,
Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries
listed
there.

The other list contains
every one not
on the first list. Most of the world’s nations are on that
list. My
press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later
this
evening.

Let me start by saying
that effective
immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2
ceases
indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will
pretty
much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
war.

THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It’ll GO
TO
OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20
YEARS.

The American people are no
longer
going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch
those
government leaders grow fat on
corruption.

Need help with a famine?
Wrestling
with an epidemic? Call France

In the future, together with
Congress,
I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing
social
problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to
terrorist
organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and
eliminate
you and all your friends from the face of the
earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country
to
terrorize? Try France or maybe China
.

I am ordering the immediate
severing
of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all
your
help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as
well.

I have instructed the Mayor of
New
York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located
in
Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites
where
those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t
care
about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens
of
thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch
your
precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of
the
finest chop shops in the world. I love New
York.

A special note to our
neighbors:
Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more
of
each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for
a
change.

Mexico is also on List 2.
Its
president and his entire corrupt government really need an
attitude
adjustment.
I will have a couple
thousand extra
tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am
going to
put ‘em? Yep, border
security.

Oh, by the way, the United
States is
abrogating the NAFTA treaty – starting
now.

We are tired of the one-way
highway.
Immediately, we’ll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take
care
of this country’s oil needs for decades to come. If you’re
an
environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List
2
above: pick a country and move
there.

It is time for America to focus on
its
own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of
isolationism.
I answer them by saying, ‘darn
tootin.’

Nearly a century of trying to
help
folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us
the
undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time
to
eliminate hunger in America ..
It is
time to eliminate homelessness
in America .
To the nations on List 1,
a final thought.
Thank you guys.
We owe you and we won’t
forget.

To the nations on List 2, a
final
thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic.

God bless America

Thank you and good
night.’

If you can read this in
English,
thank a soldier.

 

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