Archive for December, 2011

I am hearing a lot in the news lately about the separation of church and state argument.  Atheists are watching government sites nationwide in an effort to locate, what they would define as, infractions of this policy, while Christians are fighting for the right to display holiday symbols on public lands.  I know the Constitution forbids Congress from passing any law that restricts or promotes the establishment of religion but how does this translate into the current argument over religious displays?  Nobody appears to be trying to pass a law through Congress so whats the beef?  I get that Atheists don’t want religion forced on them but their argument citing the above portion of the Constitution does not seem to apply here.  5000 Christians in Athens TX and the leadership at Travis AFB, CA seem to think not.  Would love some feedback on this one folks.

It must suck to be an Athiest and never get to experience the moment where your proven right.  I mean you die and then there is nothing…  At least if your a Christian and your right then you can say “See!  I told ya so!

Kim Jong IL died yesterday, that is the third evil tyrant (I am counting Bin Laden and Ghaddafi) to die in the last few months, so the saying “it comes in threes” seems to be accurate again. I wonder if the fact that his son, Kim Jr., is replacing him as illustrious potentate disqualifies him from completing the trifecta?  Right now Kim Jong is being greeted by Satan, Osama and Mohmar and thinking to himself “Damn, those stinking Christians were right”.

If you haven’t heard yet, My favorite NFL team the Kansas City Chiefs, ended Green Bay’s undefeated season yesterday.  I watched the entire game and can attest that the Packers looked terrible and the Chiefs looked, at times, like the undefeated team Green Bay was supposed to be.  Next week things will return to normal and KC will lose by 50 to the Raiders.

What do you call people who think selling guns to drug cartels is bad?  Racists, at least if your the Attorney General you do.

So, according to Joe Biden the Taliban isn’t our enemy. Then, who is?

Looking at the actions of the Obama administration, here are my candidates:

  • Jewish people in Israel.  Those living in the US are cool because they often vote Democrat.
  • White Conservatives
  • Black Conservative
  • Brown Conservative
  • People who like nativity scenes
  • Republicans that support Ron Paul
  • Republicans that don’t support Ron Paul
  • Libertarians
  • States that try to pass immigration laws
  • Fox News
  • A little bit of ABC News
  • Anyone making enough money to not live off of government support
  • You, simply for reading this

Don’t forget, Obama set up a website to report wrong doing so notify him immediately if you spot any of the above perpetrators.

So Dutch scientists have developed a more virulent version of the bird flu.  Really, I don’t make this stuff up.  The original version just didn’t kill enough people so the Dutch thought it would be a great idea to figure out how to make it deadlier.  What’s next guys, you gonna research how to actually make the Zombie Apocalypse happen?

Speaking of the Zombie Apocalypse (ZA for short) if Obama gets reelected next year I am considering the purchase of an old Titan II missile Silo in SW Oklahoma.  There is actually a website (several of them) where you can view silos for sale.  Prices range from several hundred thousands into the millions.   Considering how terrible the country would be after an Obama reelection, I think this is a prudent step.

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Ten Things #3

Posted: December 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

Harry Reid says rich job creators are like unicorns, you just can’t find one.  This has got to be one of the dumbest statements in the history of politics and economics.  Heck, this may be the dumbest statement ever in any category.  Let’s review shall we?  Rich guy buys jet, people who make, sell, fly and maintain jets get jobs.  Rich guy invests in inventors idea, widgets get made, people get employed to make, market, sell and repair widgets.  I was a history major but even I took enough economics classes to work this one out.  In the history of mankind, how many poor people created jobs?   Sure they could start a business with little to no overhead, but you have to make money to ay people don’t you?  This guy Reid is a moron.  Try telling yourself this Harry; governments don’t create jobs that create products.  Government creates jobs that create red tape.

The Kansas City Chiefs fired their head coach Todd Haley Monday.  Not much of a surprise there, they suck.  Question now is, who will replace him.  I vote for Bill Cowher!

I was reading the OSU forums on ESPN’s website yesterday and came across an Alabama fans post that asked when were OSU fans going to realize that nobody cared about the plane crash before the Iowa State game and we should quit crying.  People die so get over it.  I have now added Alabama to my list of teams to hate along with the Texas Longhorns, the Oakland Raiders and Dallas Mavericks.  Not only do they get a second chance beating LSU, even though they did not win their conference, but they spawn asshat fans who kill trees with poison and spew stupid comments on other teams forums.  Prediction, LSU 10, Bama 3 in a game nobody outside of Louisiana and Alabama will watch because it will be sooo boring.

Quick, name something good that came from Alabama besides that cool song “Sweet Home Alabama”.  Nothing?  Ya, me neither.

“Congress has not unlimited powers to provide for the general welfare, but only those specifically enumerated (Art. I, Sec. 8).”
-Thomas Jefferson

“I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.”
James Madison

Funny T-shirt of the day:  “This shirt is so hot, who needs pants?”

OWS on the West Coast is blocking ports now.  Really people, this is your version of a good idea?  Working folks can’t do their jobs, regular people won’t get their goods delivered and you inconvenience a few rich folk.  Nice move, are you sure your not all from Alabama?  Occupy a country club, occupy a ritzy shop, maybe, just maybe you make a point.  Occupy a port and you have shown yourself to be too stupid to consider serious.  But I guess we knew that already, now it’s just a collection of anarchists and rabid union thugs mixed in with a few crazy hippies.

NASA is moving to use private space companies to transport goods to the International Space Station since we don’t have shuttles anymore.  Want to bet they do it better and cheaper than the government did.

Deidre Pujols, wife of the Angels newest team member Albert Pujols told a newspaper yesterday that the reason they left St. Louis is that they were insulted by the teams opening offer of a 5 year, $130 million offer.  Hey you OWS folks, here is something to protest!

This is awesome.  Posted by Anonymous on the website “Thehayride.com”

WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV
AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT
OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE
FOLLOWING
SPEECH?

‘My Fellow Americans: As you all
know,
the defeat of the Iraq regime has been
completed.

Since Congress does not want
to spend
any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is
complete.

This morning I gave the order
for a
complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action
will
be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the
reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists.
One list
contains the names of countries which have stood by our side
during
the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain
,
Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries
listed
there.

The other list contains
every one not
on the first list. Most of the world’s nations are on that
list. My
press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later
this
evening.

Let me start by saying
that effective
immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2
ceases
indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will
pretty
much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
war.

THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER It’ll GO
TO
OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20
YEARS.

The American people are no
longer
going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch
those
government leaders grow fat on
corruption.

Need help with a famine?
Wrestling
with an epidemic? Call France

In the future, together with
Congress,
I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing
social
problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to
terrorist
organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and
eliminate
you and all your friends from the face of the
earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country
to
terrorize? Try France or maybe China
.

I am ordering the immediate
severing
of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all
your
help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as
well.

I have instructed the Mayor of
New
York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located
in
Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites
where
those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t
care
about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens
of
thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch
your
precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of
the
finest chop shops in the world. I love New
York.

A special note to our
neighbors:
Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more
of
each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for
a
change.

Mexico is also on List 2.
Its
president and his entire corrupt government really need an
attitude
adjustment.
I will have a couple
thousand extra
tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am
going to
put ‘em? Yep, border
security.

Oh, by the way, the United
States is
abrogating the NAFTA treaty – starting
now.

We are tired of the one-way
highway.
Immediately, we’ll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take
care
of this country’s oil needs for decades to come. If you’re
an
environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List
2
above: pick a country and move
there.

It is time for America to focus on
its
own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of
isolationism.
I answer them by saying, ‘darn
tootin.’

Nearly a century of trying to
help
folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us
the
undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time
to
eliminate hunger in America ..
It is
time to eliminate homelessness
in America .
To the nations on List 1,
a final thought.
Thank you guys.
We owe you and we won’t
forget.

To the nations on List 2, a
final
thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic.

God bless America

Thank you and good
night.’

If you can read this in
English,
thank a soldier.

 

Ten Things #2

Posted: December 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

It’s been over 950 days since the Senate passed a budget!  The last Democrat to put a budget up for vote was President Obama in February; it failed 97-0.  Meanwhile the President says Congress should not go home for the holidays: “Now is the time to step on the gas, not slam on the brakes,” Obama said today in his weekly radio and Internet address. “Unfortunately, too many Republicans in Congress don’t seem to share that same sense of urgency.”  Then he got on a plane to Hawaii for a vacation.

Oklahoma State University landed a severe body blow to the OU Sooners Saturday in the annual Bedlam game.  They came out swinging and never stopped hitting them until the final whistle blew.  Then the BCS landed a cheap shot to the Cowboys by ranking them 3rd and denying them the opportunity to play for a national title in favor of Alabama.  Yes that Alabama, the one that already lost, at home, to the same team (LSU) they will play in the championship.  Anyone want to watch a 9-6 rematch?  Not me.

New NCAA rule:  If neither team scores a touchdown then Oklahoma State is champion by default.

Fact:  bread pudding is the greatest dessert ever created, especially with raisins and caramel sauce.

I tried a new headache medicine in my quest for a pain reliever that stops migraines.  The latest applicant is Excedrine Tension Headache Gels.  So far they have stopped several budding ass-kickers.  So, if you suffer from bouts of severe pain in your head that resemble a pound of glass shards crammed into your eye sockets, try them out.

Unemployment is down to 8.6%!  What’s that?  Because 315,000 people gave up looking for work and dropped off the books?  Damn, and there I thought we had something going.  They gotta rework that whole system for listing the unemployment rate, darn current system is whackadoodle.  Almost fooled me into thinking that Obama going on vacation actually helped.

Newt is now leading the Polls in the Republican race to face off against Obama next year.  Who was the last Speaker of the House elected President?  James Polk.  Didn’t he start a war with Mexico?  Sweet, let’s elect Newt and try that one again. This time if we win, they have to take back California.   If they balk at taking just California we can throw in New York City.

My list of things to request for Christmas:  1…. I got nothing here… uh… no… wait… um… ah whatever!

Gun Safety Tip of the Week:  Always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction; such as at a communist or a hippie.

Watching the New Orleans VS Detroit game Sunday it hit me; the NFC championship game will be the Superbowl this year.  No team from the AFC is even remotely as good as NO, GB or SF.  Baltimore, New England and Pittsburgh would all put up a fight but I foresee a crushing defeat for whomever shows up from the AFC.  Of course if we did it the BCS way we could have a Green Bay VS New Orleans NFC championship followed by the Superbowl with Green Bay and New Orleans.  (For those SF fans, feel free to insert your team here in place of New Orleans)